FOXY: 

Most days I’m fine.  I can get through the day just as well as the next girl.  Just not today.  It’s an off day, that’s all. 

I tend to eat more when I’m nervous.  I haven’t got a problem with food, like some people think.  I just don’t like people watching me.  This evening I went down the Chinese and got a chicken chow mein, which I stuffed into my handbag so I could smuggle it up to my room.  I lit an incense stick to disguise the smell.  It put me off the food a bit.  It was like there was someone sitting next to me smoking. 

I might just be kidding myself.  It’s not just an off day, is it?  My housemate was murdered two weeks ago, and no one knows who did it.  I’ve never been so scared in my life, and I’ve never felt so alone.  There’s no one I can talk to about it, because the killer could be any one of us.  How can I trust anyone after this?  I was on shaky ground to begin with.  I need to get out of here.  I want to go up to Scotland and stay with my mum for a few days, but something’s stopping me.  Razor’s already been arrested and released.  Maybe if I leave, they’ll think I’m acting suspiciously.  Maybe they’ll arrest me too.  At least Razor’s been to prison before, so he knows the drill.  How would I handle the questioning?  Maybe I’d crack like you see them do on the TV.  I’d end up saying I did it just to shut the bastards up. 

The worst part is, I’m not sad about Barry’s death.  The last time I saw him, we were sitting in the living room watching The Real Hustle, and he was flicking Cheesy Wotsits at my head.  I got that orange flavouring in my hair.  I told him to stop it, and he just giggled.  I shut myself in my room after that. 

I’m glad he’s dead. 

The internal organs of insects are similar to those of other animals. The digestive tube consists of oesophagus, gizzard, or stomach, and intestines. The nervous system is well developed as shown by the extreme sensitiveness of insects to touch. The brain is comparatively small except in the bees and ants. The circulatory system consists simply of a long tube heart, the blood vessels being absent. In this way the internal organs of the insect are simply bathed in the blood. The system of respiration is most complicated. The air is taken in through pores usually along the side of the body and is then carried through fine tracheal tubes to all parts of the body. You cannot drown an insect by putting its head under water, since it does not breathe through its mouth. The muscular system is similar to that of other animals which have the skeleton on the outside.

I started reading this book I found in the living room called “Elementory Study of Insects” by Leonard Haseman.  The inside cover says it was published in 1923.  I can’t get into it, though.  Those paint fumes from downstairs are giving me a headache.  Or is it just the stress?  I don’t know why I agreed to let Craig paint the living room.  He hasn’t exactly done a good job.  I know I’m in a minority, but I quite liked that wallpaper.  It reminded me of my gran’s when I was a kid. 

I’m not going to argue about it, though.  For all I know, Craig’s the killer.  I’ve always had a funny feeling about him.  I slept with him one night last year after one too many drinks.  It was enough to make me want to give up booze.  I catch him looking at me sometimes.  I feel like turning round and saying, “What?  What are you staring at?”  I wonder if he’s got any pictures of me on his phone.  I might steal it one day and delete them. 

[Illustration: The internal organs of the honey bee. Note the strong wing muscles in the thorax. The tube-like heart begins in the head and extends back through the thorax and follows the curve of the abdomen. Below the heart is the digestive tube consisting of the slender oesophagus which extends back to the expanded honey stomach, in which the bee carries the nectar it collects from flowers, then the curled true stomach, the small intestine and expanded large intestine. Below this is the nervous system consisting of the brain and a chain of connected enlargements or ganglia extending back into the abdomen in the lower part of the body. The respiratory system in part appears just above the honey stomach, and the black circular or oval spots are cross sections of connecting air tubes, which run all through the body. Also note the sting with the poison gland and sack which are pulled out with the sting; also the sucking tube for getting honey from flowers, and the structures on the legs for gathering and carrying pollen; the pollen basket is on the back side of the hind leg.]

I can’t be bothered anymore.  From now on, I’m only going to communicate with my housemates by email. 

You can tell a lot about someone from the name they pick for their email address.  Samantha’s is hop-scotch-wannabe@tiscali.co.uk.  Like Samantha herself, this is a bit of an enigma.  I don’t know what a hop scotch wannabe is, so I guess it’s a personal joke.

Craig’s is crushedwitheyeliner@hotmail.com.  Enough said about Craig, really.    

Gogo’s email address is his real name – neil.swanson@gmail.com.  I know it’s hard to believe, but apparently Gogo was quite a party animal a few years back.  That’s how he got his nickname.  It’s because he was such a bad dancer.  An ironic name, from a former life.  I’ve been living in this house for a year, and I’ve never seen him celebrate anything.  I wonder what happened to stop the party.  Gogo and Craig were best friends once upon a time.  Now they’re never seen in the same room.  Maybe moving in together was a bad idea.  People say you don’t really get to know someone until you live with them.  I’m not sure that’s true.  I’m not sure if you can ever get to know anyone. 

Dunder hasn’t got an email address.  I’m not sure what that says about him.  Maybe it just means he can’t afford a computer.

Razor only set up his email account recently.  He was so excited.  He chose the name wanted-man-24@yahoo.com.  I said it made him sound like a criminal, but he laughed and said, “There’s a double meaning.  I’m wanted.  This is the first time in my life that I’ve really felt wanted by anyone.” 

I nearly burst into tears when I heard that.  I think I’d die if Razor wasn’t here. 

Barry was killed the following day.  I bet he regrets calling himself that now. 

Their Methods of Developing

In most cases the parent insect deposits small eggs which hatch later into the young insects. In some cases, as with the blow-flies, the maggot may hatch from the egg while yet in the parent's body, when the active larva is born alive. Whether the egg hatches before or after it is deposited, the young insect continues to develop in one of three ways. It may resemble the parent and simply grow as does a kitten, or it may look somewhat like its parent though smaller and without wings, as the young grasshopper, or it may bear no resemblance whatever to the parent, as the caterpillar which feeds and grows and finally spins a cocoon in which it passes to the resting chrysalis stage and later emerges with wings. The development of insects is therefore extremely complicated.

[Illustration: The chinch bug showing development with incomplete metamorphosis; a, egg; b, first nymph; c, second nymph; d, third nymph; e, fourth nymph; f, adult winged bug; g, chinch bugs extracting sap from corn plant. To control this pest burn over all winter harboring places and use chemical or dust barriers following wheat harvest.]

I’ll move out as soon as I can.  Everyone else just seems to be getting on with things, pretending none of this is happening.  I keep imagining things.  I’m sleeping with the door locked from now on, and a rape alarm by my bed. 

I’m not just being paranoid.  Someone’s stolen a pair of my knickers.  They were in the laundry basket under my bed, and now they’re gone.  Someone’s been in here, snooping around.  God knows why. 

I feel violated.